The Mother Of All Scholars

(Before class, my history professor is telling us about a conference he’ll be attending.)

Professor: “The only bad thing about this conference is that it takes place really close to where I grew up, which means my mom will be in the front row.”

Me: “Wait, so, your mom comes to conferences and listens to you?”

Professor: “Listen? No. She sits in the audience and asks questions! I swear she does research just so she can ask ones that completely stump me. My mom is even worse than most academics, and that’s saying something.”

(Classmate #1 enters the room in time to hear only the last sentence.)

Classmate #1: “Oh, your mom’s a scholar, too?”

Professor: “Yes. Yes, she is.”

Classmate #1: “What’s she a scholar of?”

Professor: “Annoying the s*** out of me!”