The Mother Of All Long-Distance Calls

(I am a male in my late 60s and receive a phone call with the caller ID showing Phoenix, AZ.)

Me: “Hello…”

Caller: *an elderly woman from the sound of her voice* “Hi, how are you?”

Me: “I’m fine. Who is this?”

Caller: “Surely you can recognize your mother’s voice!”

Me: “You’re not my mother.”

Caller: “Of course I am!”

Me: “If you’re my mother, what are you doing in Arizona when we buried you in Massachusetts?”

Caller: “Oh!”

(As she was ringing off, I heard her mutter, “My husband put these numbers in this machine…”)