The Mother Of All Descriptions

| Related | July 29, 2013

(I am at the water park with my two young boys, aged seven and five. I get separated for several minutes, and start to panic, until I see them talking to a Park Safety Officer.)

Me: “There you are!”

Officer: “You’re the mom?” *starts laughing* “Your sons adore you. They wrote your name, address, phone number, and so much more.”

(On the officer’s notepad, I read what my seven-year-old wrote.)

Son’s Note: “Lost mom is a woman, 26 years old, tall, has boobs, sexy in red blue stripe swimsuit, not really skinny but beautiful, has hair, smells like Victoria’s secret.”

Me: “If your search has to go by that list, these kids will go home with a different mommy.”

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