The More You Read, The Better It Gets
A teenage girl customer comes through the drive-thru. My new cashier asks her:
New Cashier: “Was that a beef or a bean burrito?”
Customer: *Literally screaming.* “BEAN. B-E-A-N! God!”
New Cashier: “Okay, ma’am. I’m sorry about that, but please do not talk to me like I’m stupid.”
Customer: “Oh my god! I got a sassy little bean, didn’t I? You do not get to tell me how I get to talk to you!”
The customer pulls away, and a few minutes later, she’s waltzing inside. She walks up to me and explains all sweet-like how the employee was rude and awful to her, as if I didn’t hear the whole thing.
Customer: “I don’t want free food or anything, but I want him to be fired.”
I laughed, but then she spotted him. All of a sudden, she starts hollering at this teenage boy.
Customer: “Hey, a**hole! You’re about to be fired. Maybe that’ll teach you some manners!”
Me: “No, ma’am, he is not about to be fired. Please leave if you’re just going to belittle my people.”
Customer: *Turning to me.* “Oh! So now I’m the bad guy?! Do you people not understand that you’re here to serve me?!”
Me: “We’re here to serve customers, and we have the power to decide who is a customer and who is a trespasser who likes to shout. Guess which list I’m putting you under.”
She screams at us some more and storms out. So far, just a typical customer and not worthy of retelling. Until the next day, when the teenage girl comes back in, this time with her mother.
Customer’s Mother: “Hi, are you the manager that my daughter spoke to yesterday?”
Me: “I am.”
Customer’s Mother: “She’ll have a few words to say in a minute, but first, I’d like to apologize for her actions yesterday. I didn’t raise her to behave the way she behaved, but she’s fallen in with a bad crowd at college. Part of her sorority hazing process was to… what was the specific wording, dear?”
Customer: “Get a fast-food worker fired.”
Customer’s Mother: “The specific wording, dear.”
Customer: “Get a teenage fast-food worker fired.”
Customer’s Mother: “As you can see, yesterday was her attempt to get into this god-awful sorority. I’ve already spoken to the college, and they’re dealing with the rest of the girls. Now, I said that my daughter had some other words to say. You’re up, dear.”
Customer: *Mumbles.*
Customer’s Mother: “Didn’t quite get that, dear.”
Customer: “Sorry.”
Customer’s Mother: “Sorry for what, dear?”
Customer: “Sorry… I… tried to get someone fired.”
Customer’s Mother: “Is the worker she tried to get fired here today? I’d love for her to personally apologize to him, too.”
Me: “He’s not here today, ma’am, as he’s also at college.”
Customer’s Mother: “Did you hear that, dear? The young man you tried to get fired is working through college. Well, that gives me a wonderful idea…”
Customer: *Eyes widen.* “Mom, no!”
The customer’s mother looks at me.
Me: “Ma’am, no. We’re always hiring, but we never want to see your daughter ever again.”
Customer’s Mother: “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of asking you to hire her after what she did to you all. But I want to tell you that I am deciding right now that I’m no longer giving her an allowance during college.”
Customer: *Eyes widen somehow further.* “Mom, nooooo!”
Customer’s Mother: “And she will need to get a part-time job if she wants to continue to pay for her expenses from now on. Come on, dear, we have a resume to make and send out.”
The mother drags her out of the store as she whines and moans, saying things like “but I said I’m soooooorry!”
Just before they get to the door, the mother turns around to us and says:
Customer’s Mother: “I’ll be sure to come in and let you know where my daughter ends up working, so you can all go and give her a proper welcome to the workforce!”
The mother actually did come in and tell us! She got a job being miserable at Taco Bell. Apparently, she lasted a whole week before quitting because it was too hard. The mother said she will “come by again” to let us know where she gets another job because she’ll “be d***ed if she doesn’t let this become a lesson to her daughter for the rest of her life”.
