The More You “Need” It The Less You Should Have It

, , , , , | Right | April 30, 2021

A woman wanders up to my register and plops down a six-pack of beer.

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, ma’am. I can’t sell you the beer until 8:00 am, it’s a state law.”

Customer: “But I need beer. When I walked in, it was almost 8:00, anyway.”

Me: “The register locks out alcohol sales until 8:00 am, so I can’t sell it to you until the register unlocks itself.”

Customer: “I really need this beer! I have to have it. You understand, don’t you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do anything about it until eight. The store could lose its liquor license and I could be arrested, fined, and probably fired.”

Customer: “What if you total up the price of the beer and I’ll pay you cash for it? Nobody has to know.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t do that. You’ll have to wait until eight.”

Customer: *Finally losing it* “I REALLY NEED THIS BEER! MY DAUGHTER IS IN LABOR AND SHE CALLED ME AND SAID SHE NEEDS BEER!”

Me: “If your daughter is in labor, do you think it’s wise to give her beer?”

Customer: *Gets even madder* “FINE! I’ll go somewhere else where they’ll sell some beer!”

I told the store owner about it later and he said, “I’ve heard lots of stupid excuses from customers over the years, but that’s a new one for me.”

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