The More Popular Animals

(My sister, her 18-month-old son, and I are walking through a local pet store to decide whether to get a fish for the house. My nephew has been talking for a while but his pronunciation still needs work.)

Nephew: *pointing at the fish tanks excitedly* “Look! Look, Mommy! B*****s!”

Me: *stifles laughter*

Sister: “No! No, [Nephew], those are FISHES.”

Nephew: “Yeah! B*****s!”

Me: *continues to hide laughter* “Why don’t we go look at something else?”

Sister: *shoots dirty look at me* “…Yeah.”

(We continue on to the reptile section and [Nephew] gets excited again when he sees the frog tanks.)

Nephew: “Mommy! Mommy! F***s! F***s!”

Sister: “[Nephew], no! Those are FROGS! Can you say frogs?”

Nephew: “Yeah! Look at da f***s!”

Sister: *facepalm*

Me: *practically on the floor with laughter*

Sister: *turning towards the exit* “Okay, time to go.”

Nephew: “No! No Mommy! Want f***s! Want B*****s!”

Sister: “We’re going home now, [Nephew]. No frogs or fishes.”

(My nephew proceeds to throw a huge fit, breaking down into tears within the first few seconds, and as we head out, managing to avoid the awkward stares of the other people, I stop laughing for a second.)

Me: “Aw, come on, [Sister], everybody wants f***s and b*****s!”

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