The Moral Of The Story: Know Your Whiskey

My wife and I had a child about a year before lockdowns started, so between our child and the lockdowns, it has been a few years since we have really gone out. Recently, we got a babysitter and decided to go out for a big, fancy date night. Like many times when my wife gets all dressed up, her outfit did not have any pockets, and she didn’t want to carry a purse, so she ended up giving me her phone, wallet, etc., to carry.

We went to a nice dinner, saw a show, and then ended up at a fancy bar. I ordered a round and opened up a tab. Then, we ran into some old friends of ours we hadn’t seen in years and so spent some time catching up. It came time to get the next round and my wife offered to go to the bar and get it.

Wife: “Hello, can I get two neat pours of that angel whiskey?”

Bartender: “Two pours of what?”

Wife: “Oh, shoot. Why can’t I think of the name? That whiskey with ‘angel’ in the name of it. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

Bartender: *Pauses* “I think I do. Do you have your ID on you?”

Wife: “Oh, shoot. My husband has my ID in his pocket; he’s right over there.” *Points* “I can go back and get it real quick.”

Bartender: “No, no, don’t worry about that, just… wait right here. I will be back.”

My wife, figuring the bartender had just decided she looked of age since we are in our thirties, didn’t worry about it and waited. Not too long after, I found myself being very pointedly dragged outside by security and held until the police arrived. Meanwhile, the bartender was telling my wife she is safe now and to just stay there. She got away, came outside, and asked what was going on.

Officer: “We got a call about a woman in danger. The bartender said that a woman had reported that she was in danger from her husband and that he was keeping her documents hostage.”

Wife: “What are you talking about?! My husband’s not a danger to me, and he’s not holding anything hostage! He’s holding my ID because I don’t have any pockets!”

I tried to speak up but was shut down by one of the cops and told to be quiet. It took a few hours, but eventually, after a lot of debate between my wife, the cop, and the bartender, they eventually decided to let me go.

It turns out that an “angel shot” is a code word a woman can order at a bar when she is being threatened by her date. Combined with the fact that I was holding her ID, that set off alarm bells for everyone at the bar. I think we might do more date nights at home going forward, though.