The Monster Trucks Of Kansas City

My parked car is hit hard enough that it has to be towed to a body shop for an insurance estimate; the body shop calls me a few days later.

Manager: “Well, sir, I haven’t even finished with the estimate, but we’re already at over $16,000 in damages. The back end is totally destroyed, your front axle is broken, the transmission is damaged, the— Wait a minute, I just have to ask: are you okay?”

Me: *Laughing* “Oh, yeah. Here’s the deal: do you know Kansas City very well?”

Manager: “Sort of; I live in [Suburb on the southern side] but I’ve managed this shop for about twenty years up here.”

Me: “Okay, so, you know how the neighborhood streets are twenty mph and most people park on the street? I was parked out front of my house, and this lady hit me either fast enough, strong enough, or for enough time to force my car off of the street and into a tree. In the neighbor’s yard. Two houses down.”

Manager: *Now laughing as well* “Wow! I’d actually started my report by wondering how you could damage all those different parts of the vehicle that badly and still walk away from the accident! Pardon my French, but in my professional opinion, that lady f***ed up royally!”