The Monkey Handlers Have Nothing On This Tantrum Handler

I am at the zoo in a sort of food court area. My kids are off with their dad getting food, and I am people-watching.

A man and woman with a child around two years old are just finishing up their own meal next to me.

Woman: *To the child* “Now that we’re done, we can go see your monkeys, and then we’ll see whatever animals we can as we leave.”

Girl: “No!”

Woman: “No what, my love?”

Girl: “No go!”

Woman: “I’m glad you’re having fun, but we’ve already stayed longer than we were supposed to, and it’s past nap time, so we have to leave once we see the monkeys.”

I’m sure you can imagine the way a two-year-old who hasn’t gotten her nap would respond to this. She starts crying immediately, starting with a low rumble at first but rapidly building in intensity and volume to full-on bawling.

Man: “Okay, [Girl], shoulder time.”

The man comes over and picks the little girl up. The moment that she is in his hands, she starts spinning around to face away from him while he is lifting her to make it easier for him to place her on his shoulders in a smooth clearly practiced motion. More importantly, her tears cut off entirely the moment she is on his shoulders. She is now looking around utterly content as if she wasn’t crying a literal second ago.

The man walks in a short circle around their table before stopping back right in front of the women.

Man: “Okay, Mommy, she’s ready for you.”

The woman stands and reaches up to touch her daughter’s legs to get her attention, looking the girl straight in the eye.

Woman: “[Girl], I know you’re having fun and don’t want to go home, but crying just tells us you’re too sleepy and that we should take you home for a nap now. I don’t want to do that because I want you to get to see your monkeys before we leave. Do you think you can be a big girl for us and try not to cry, even if you are tired, long enough for us to go see your monkeys?”

The girl gives a bit of a nod to this.

Man: “Great. [Girl], do you want to do a quick gallop while Mommy packs up?”

Girl: “Uh-huh!”

Man: “Okay, but do you think you can tell Mommy you’re sorry for crying first?”

Girl: “Sorry.”

Man: “That’s my favorite girl. Okay, hold on, here we go…”

The man then takes the girl off on the promised “gallop”, bouncing her high up in the air with each step he takes. In fact, he is bouncing and bucking her so much it’s as if she were on a mechanical bull; I’m honestly shocked she’s able to maintain her balance and stay in a sitting position even with her legs being held, but she manages to somehow. Most kids I’d expect to be crying all over again from the rough treatment, but this toddler is laughing and giggling in pure joy over her human rodeo.

Me: “That was great! That’s got to be the fastest I’ve seen any dad stop a kid’s crying.”

Woman: “Oh, he’s her godfather, actually, but I know what you mean. She loves riding on his shoulders; she won’t let him carry her any other way. I don’t think I’ve seen a single case yet where a shoulder ride failed to fix whatever was upsetting her. I just wish my shoulders had the same magic.”

After the woman finished packing up, the three of them headed off with the girl still content and firmly attached to her godfather’s shoulders, presumably to see some monkeys.