The Medium Suddenly Felt Very Small

, | Right | May 24, 2015

(I am a customer waiting in line at a popular fast food restaurant’s drive thru. I am next to place my order, and behind a large black SUV with a middle-aged blonde soccer mom type in the driver’s seat, another person in the passenger’s seat, and what must be her son in the back seat. She places the order for the son and begins to give her order.)

Mother: “I’d like a #4.”

Cashier: “And what size would you like that?”

Mother: “Medium.”

Cashier: “Okay, and what to drink?”

Mother: “Medium.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, what would you like to drink?”

Mother: “MEDIUM!”

Cashier: “Miss, I’m sorry, I just want to know what you would like your beverage to be today.”

Mother: “MEDI—”

(At this point I have had more than enough, as I detest people who don’t listen when ordering and treat food service employees like they are lesser. I stick my head out the window and shout at the top of my lungs.)

Me: “SHE’S ASKING WHAT YOU WANT TO DRINK, YOU IDIOT!”

(The mother sticks her head out her window as well to glare at me, when she notices my gleaming, freshly shaven bald head, large beard, and scowl barely covered by my sunglasses. She turns back to the speaker and meekly replies…)

Mother: “A Diet Coke, please.”

(After I give my order, actually giving the size and beverage without needed to be prompted, I pull up to pay.)

Cashier: “Oh, my God, thank you. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that!”

Me: “Don’t worry. For a long time I used to work in restaurants. I’ve wanted to do that forever, too!”

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