The Machines Are Aware…

(I am meeting my boss at a conference. I keep him updated on my whereabouts by text message.)

Me: *by text* “I’m at the corner of [Street #1] and [Street #2].”

(I arrive at the venue.)

Me: “I’m here.”

(After waiting in line for a long time:)

Me: “Still in line.”

(I make it through the line and find my boss seated at a presentation. There’s little room and I’m late, so I have to sit two rows behind him and he doesn’t see me. So as not to interrupt the presentation:)

Me: *by text* “I’m two rows behind you.”

(He takes his phone from his pocket and looks at it, so I assume he’s been receiving my texts. After the presentation, we meet.)

Boss: “Good to see you here. But I wish you’d let me know you were going to be late.”

Me: “I did. I was texting you all the way through.”

Boss: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah! Look at my texts!”

Boss: “I haven’t received anything from you… Here, I’ll send you a text to test.”

(I receive a text from another number. Then it clicks.)

Me: “Wait a minute… I was texting the OFFICE number on your business card, not your cell phone!”

(The poor receptionists at the office had to hear a horrifying robotic text-to-landline progression of someone coming up the stairs, culminating in “I’m two rows behind you”!)