Substitute Vices

(A mother is at my cash register while her six-to-seven-year-old daughter is still looking around at items.)

Daughter: “Mom, there’s strawberry candy. Can I have some?”

Mom: “Sure, bring it over and let’s see.”

(They turn out to be condoms.)

Mom: “Uh… oh… that’s not candy. Put it back!”

Daughter: “I like strawberry!”

Mom: “You’re too young for that.”

Daughter: “Oh, is it alcoholic?”

Mom: “Well… sort of.”

Daughter: *cheerfully* “Okay, I’ll put it back!”