The Life Of The Used And Abused

(A customer comes up to me with an item wrapped in bubble wrap.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.”

(The customer hands me the item with no receipt and it’s obviously an item from Christmas. The candle in it has been lit and used and the item is missing part of the tag. I look up the item and find out it’s from Christmas of last year.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot return this item.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “This item is from Christmas of last year and our return policy is thirty days with your receipt. This is well over thirty days and is a holiday item. We do not accept refunds on holiday items.”

Customer: “Well, that isn’t my fault. This thing is hideous and I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “I understand that, sir, but there isn’t anything I can do.”

Customer: getting agitated* “Well you HAVE to take it back. I don’t want it. You guys sell ugly things.”

(At this point, my manager comes over to deal with the increasingly agitated customer.)

Manager: “Sir, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes! This girl is telling me she won’t take back my item! It’s ugly! I don’t want it! [Competitor] has a policy that they will take back anything any time! You have to do that too!”

Manager: “Sir, I am sorry but this item is too old and it’s used. We can’t return it. That is our policy.”

(This goes back a forth a few times. The customer keeps saying how our competitor’s policy would allow it. However, we are not affiliated with them, so obviously our policy is different. Finally, the customer gives up and grabs his item from me.)

Customer: “[Competitor] would have taken it!”

(The customer storms out and another customer comes up to my manager.)

Customer #2: “Want me to kick his a** for you all the way to [Competitor]?”

Manager: *laughs* “Be my guest!”