The Lesser Of Two Evils

Customer: *holding an ugly teapot* “The stuff on that shelf–” *pointing* “–is 75% off. Can I get this teapot for 75% off?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that discount only applies to items that were damaged during shipping.”

Customer: “Look, I’m buying a lot of stuff here. I think I should get a discount on this teapot.”

Me: “But it’s not broken. You only get a discount if it’s broken.”

Customer: “You’re not being very helpful. You have to be able to do something for me here.”

Me: “I could take it into the stock room and smash it for you. Then I could sell it to you at the discounted price. I’m sure you could glue it back together when you get home.”

Customer: *thinking it over* “No… no, I don’t think so.”