The Learning Dead

(I am doing homework that I have put off until the last possible second. I’ve been feeling under the weather, and so I go to complain to my boyfriend.)

Me: “I don’t feel so well; I’m all achy and sleepy.”

Boyfriend: “Can I help?”

Me: “No, not really, unless you know how to get me out of homework.”

Boyfriend: “Call in dead! ‘Hello, professor! I can’t do my homework because I am, in fact, dead.'”

Me: “That’d make it hard to complete my senior thesis.”

Boyfriend: “Promise that you did it, and you just can’t submit it because you died, but it’s really, really good.”