The Late, Late Boyfriend

| Romantic | June 3, 2014

(My boyfriend is studying in another state, so we’re long distance. I’ve called him on my way home from my first day at a new job. I am very punctual, while he is notoriously late for EVERYTHING.)

Me: “Well, a few of my new coworkers left half an hour early but I stayed and I got a lecture on being at work on time and staying until 5:30. I mean, yeah, they don’t know me, but as if I’m going to be late! It’s me! Now, YOU on the other hand—”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. I might have a bit of trouble with that.”

Me: “Please, you’d be late to your own funeral.”

(There is a pause, and then he starts laughing.)

Boyfriend: “You know what? I probably would. I can picture it now, MANY years in the future. Everyone standing around waiting for it to start, and being like, ‘where’s the body?.’  Someone says ‘the hearse is late,’ and everyone says ‘yeah, typical [Boyfriend].”

Me: “I can picture that, too.”

Boyfriend: “If you’re still around, can you say ‘typical [Boyfriend]?'”

Me: “Absolutely. And then I’ll write ‘is he here yet?’ on your tombstone.”

(We get each other.)

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