The Last Trip He Takes You On

(We have a ‘regular’ customer who only calls at night, and only speaks with young sounding, female representatives.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Travel Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounding stuffed up throughout the call* “Yes, I need to book a trip from Chicago to Detroit for [date that is always two weeks away from date he calls].”

Me: “Great, and how many will be traveling?”

Caller: “Just me.”

(I check for age and military discounts when all of a sudden, he sneezes.)

Me: “Bless you. Now did you have a time of day in mind?”

Caller: “Oh, thank you. My cat just came in the room. I am allergic. Could you read me the time you have at the lowest prices?”

(The call goes almost normally accept for these ‘allergy’ interruptions, which involve opening the window, dusting, going in the attic, and so on. He gives the name of John Sneed for the reservation and we get to the credit card payment. He gives 8 of the 16 digits, and then hangs up. After having this happen twice, I ask around and confirm he is not a legitimate customer. A jewel of information is given to me, so I’m prepared the next time he calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Travel Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounding stuffed up* “Yes, I need to book a trip from Chicago to Detroit for [date that is two weeks away].”

Me: “Wonderful! How many will be traveling this time, Mr. [Caller´s Real Last Name]?”

Caller: *hangs up*