The Last Shot

(My boyfriend and I are driving to a party. Since he has to work the day after, and I have the day off, we agree he won’t drink anything. We have just barely arrived and taken off our shoes and jackets before my boyfriend rushes into the living room, grabs a beer, and sweeps it down.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Boyfriend: “Relax! It’s just one beer. It’ll be out of my system before we leave.”

(I decide not to argue about it, but as time passes he manages to drink a few more.)

Me: “Shouldn’t you stop soon? You’ve had quite a few already.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I figured I’d just let you drive. You’ve barely touched yours anyways!” *pokes my beer can*

(Annoyed, I walk away and find the biggest gin bottle I can find, and chug down about a third of it. My boyfriend approaches me some time later, finding me in a rather drunk state.)

Boyfriend: “What the f***?! So how are we gonna get home now, b****?! Like h*** I’m getting another DUI! The buses aren’t even going at this hour!

Me: “I’m gonna sleep over here. YOU, on the other hand, can work on your attitude and start walking home!”

(Pissed off, my boyfriend rushes out of the apartment, and I hear nothing more from him for the rest of the night. I’m embarrassed for causing a scene, but my friend and host of party assures me it’s fine. The next morning I wake up to a text message from my boyfriend with the following:)

Boyfriend: “Really disappointed for last night. Boss yelled at me for stinking! Couldn’t shower. Did u have to be such a b****?”

(I dumped him VERY shortly after this incident.)