The Killing Joke

, , , , | Working | May 17, 2019

(My wife and I and two other couples go to a casual restaurant together one evening that we go to often. All six of us are sitting in a corner booth.)

Waitress: *sitting down in the booth next to my wife* “Hi! Before I take your orders, I have a joke to tell you.” *tells the joke, which isn’t funny to any of us* “Oh, I guess it wasn’t that funny. What can I get all of you to drink?”

(She takes our drink orders — at this place the waitress makes the drinks — and then drops them off at our table.)

Waitress: “I’ll be right back.”

(She then goes to another table, sits down, tells the same joke, and then takes their drink order and wanders off. We wait for a long time for her to come back to take our order, and we see her return to other tables and take their orders, but for some reason she never returns to us. We finally flag her down.)

Me: “Excuse me, you never took our order. Can we please order sometime soon?”

Waitress: “I did take your order. See, you have drinks. Let me go check the kitchen to find out why your food isn’t ready.”

Me: “We never told you our food order.”

Waitress: “Yes, you did. I’ll be right back.”

(She returns a couple minutes later.)

Waitress: “I’m really sorry, but it looks like the kitchen lost your order. I need to take it again.”

(We all kind of look at her weird but just place our orders with her. She then wanders off. At this point, all of our drinks need refills, but she never does that. We wait for a long time, to the point where other tables have had their food, eaten, and left, and we still have no food. We don’t see our waitress anywhere, so I go up to the counter. Our waitress sees me.)

Waitress: “Hi. Do you need something?”

Me: “Our food.”

Waitress: “You need to order more food?”

Me: “No, we need the food we ordered. We never got it.”

Waitress: “I brought you your food.”

Me: “No, you didn’t. Can you please find out where our order is?”

Waitress: “Let me go check.”

(I go back to my seat and wait a couple minutes. The waitress comes by.)

Waitress: “I checked the kitchen, and your food is not being made right now. I know I delivered your food.”

Me: “If you gave us our food, why are there no plates here, and why is all the silverware still clean and on the napkins just like they were when we sat down?”

Waitress: *funny look* “Let me see.”

(The waitress leaves and doesn’t come back. After about five minutes, I go up and find a man in a shirt and tie and ask him if he’s the manager. He says no, but he’ll get the manager to come to my table. He comes, and we explain that we’ve only had drinks, that the waitress had to take our order twice, and that we still don’t have food. The manager comes back after a couple minutes.)

Manager: “I’m really sorry. I checked the waitress’s ordering book and found your order; she had never given it to the kitchen. I’m not sure why. I don’t know why she’s arguing with you, either. I see you guys in here all the time, so I’m going to give you your meals and a dessert for free.”

(We finally ended up with our food after about two hours. We did go back there again, but never saw that waitress again.)

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