The Key To Being An Idiot
(I work in a hotel. We have a bunch of wild twenty-somethings staying in-house. They come by the front desk, whooping and screaming, and go up to their rooms. A moment later, they return.)
Customer #1: “My key doesn’t work!”
Customer #2: “Mine, either!”
Customer #3: “Nor mine!”
(They toss their key cards at me, looking pissed off and drunk.)
Me: “Well, let’s see what’s going on here.”
(I test the keys for their room numbers.)
Me: “This key says it’s for [room].”
Customer #1: “Hey, that’s my room!”
Me: “This one says it’s for [other room].”
Customer #3: “Hey, that’s my room!”
Me: “So, I guess they got mixed up between you all?”
Customer #2: “Yeah. We were at the bar, drinking, and we threw all of our keycards together in a pile, and when it was time to go we just picked up what we thought was ours! Guess we got it wrong, huh? Haha!”
Me: *not laughing*
(Once I straightened everyone’s keys out, they left, and one said to the other, “I bet she thinks that we’re morons!” You got that right, buddy.)
