The Key To Being An Idiot

(I work in a hotel. We have a bunch of wild twenty-somethings staying in-house. They come by the front desk, whooping and screaming, and go up to their rooms. A moment later, they return.)

Customer #1: “My key doesn’t work!”

Customer #2: “Mine, either!”

Customer #3: “Nor mine!”

(They toss their key cards at me, looking pissed off and drunk.)

Me: “Well, let’s see what’s going on here.”

(I test the keys for their room numbers.)

Me: “This key says it’s for [room].”

Customer #1: “Hey, that’s my room!”

Me: “This one says it’s for [other room].”

Customer #3: “Hey, that’s my room!”

Me: “So, I guess they got mixed up between you all?”

Customer #2: “Yeah. We were at the bar, drinking, and we threw all of our keycards together in a pile, and when it was time to go we just picked up what we thought was ours! Guess we got it wrong, huh? Haha!”

Me: *not laughing*

(Once I straightened everyone’s keys out, they left, and one said to the other, “I bet she thinks that we’re morons!” You got that right, buddy.)