The Key To A False Arrest

(My keys fall out of my pocket at the movie theater today. I realize this when I get to my car. I walk back to the theater and enter intending to go to my seat and retrieve the keys when the manager confronts me.)

Manager: “Sir! Sir, did you buy a ticket?”

Me: “No, I dropped my keys in the theater. I was going to go retrieve them.”

Manager: “Well, I can’t let you in there.”

Me: “I dropped my keys in there; I’d like to retrieve them.”

Manager: “I don’t know that; you could just be trying to sneak in to a movie.”

Me: “Then you can come in with me and see that I get my keys.”

Manager: “No, sir, you are not going inside the theater.”

Me: “Yes, I am. Excuse me.”

Manager: “I’m calling the police.”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll only be a moment.”

(I go in, go to my seat, find the keys tucked into the cushion and came back out. Sure enough, the manager is on the phone with the police. I walk over and take the receiver from her.)

Me: “Hello? Yes, I’m the gentleman she’s calling about. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve gotten my car keys out of the movie theater and am leaving the premises. Thank you for your assistance.”