The Indecent Proposal Before Christmas

(I’m an employee at a popular Halloween and costume store. With Halloween around the corner, it’s getting busier. Lines at the register are long; there’s even a line at our fitting rooms, which I’m helping manage. A younger guy walks up to the side of the counter and asks if I work there. While refraining from gesturing to my bright purple apron with the company’s name on it, I smile and say:)

Me: “Yes! Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you have any [Character I don’t know] costumes?”

(I don’t remember seeing that name on any packages in the store. It’s not a large store, but I have missed some things before.)

Me: “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t recognize the name.”

Customer: “Well, she’s a p*rn star.”

(Sexy nurse? Sure. Sexy priest? I can show you. Sexy ninja? Right behind you. P*rn star? Can’t help ya.)

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have any p*rn star costumes. I’m not sure how popular it is, but even so, we don’t have a lot of the classics, either.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Do you have any sexy costumes? For women?”

Me: “Yes, of course! All of our adult costumes are on this half of the store. Women’s are mixed in, with all the sexy costumes, too.”

Customer: “Okay, great! Do you have any wigs?”

Me: “Yep, we have a whole wall of wigs in the back of the store.”

Customer: “Okay. I don’t really like how my girl looks, so I’m trying to dress her up.”

Me: *trying my best to keep my working smile on and my tone polite* “Okay, yeah, we have a ton of wigs in the back, as well as many other accessories including corsets, leggings, and gloves!”

Customer: “Okay, great! Can I have your number?”

(No leading up to it. Blunt. He literally just said he had a girl, and even bashed her looks. Of course, this is the one day I came into work dressed up.)

Me: “Um, sorry, but I’m kind of working right now. It would be unprofessional of me to give out my number.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I feel you.”

(He walked away. I didn’t see where he walked to. I got back to working the fitting rooms and never saw him again. I had a good laugh about it later on. Everyone I told agreed that he was a pig. A pig with ramen noodles for hair.)