The Hostess With The Mostest

(I am working as a hostess. Suddenly, a rush comes in and I have to seat many tables at once. Eventually, my hostess stand dies down and a customer I seated twenty minutes ago approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi, I know you’re not a server, but no one has been by to see us. Can you help us?”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I’ll try to find your server.”

(I rush around trying to find her, but she is nowhere to be found.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t find her, but if you’re ready, I’ll take your order and have someone put it in the system for me.”

(I take their order and go to the manager.)

Manager: “You’re a host, you don’t take tables. Know your place.”

Me: “They asked me to help them. No one greeted them. Can you just enter their order?”

(For the rest of their time there, they have to come to the host stand, which is right next to their table, to ask me for refills, napkins, etc. A server never shows up. Finally, the girl who should have been serving them drops off their check and wishes them a nice day. The customer approaches me with the bill.)

Customer: “So, that server’s name is on our check. But she didn’t do anything to help us. She won’t get our tips, will she? We want to tip you.”

Me: “I’m really not sure, but you don’t have to do that. I was just trying to help.”

(They insist on tipping me. Two of them tip me in cash, one leaves a hefty credit card tip, which the absent server pockets. The table asks to see a manager about the neglect and unfairness.)

Manager: “If it’s to tell me what a good job you did, I don’t want to hear it.” *walks off*

(Later in the day, the same server neglects another table. They flag me down just to ask what beers we have on tap. I go to the manager to ask.)

Manager: “STOP TAKING TABLES! YOU’RE JUST A NOBODY HOSTESS!”

(A customer from yet another table overhears and comes over.)

Customer #2: “Yes. She is a hostess, and I wish I’d been seated closer to her stand because I’d have gotten a lot better service from her than my actual server. You should be rewarding her, not berating her for going above and beyond her position!”

(That customer and the rest of her party get up and walk out promising to complain to corporate. The manager was demoted and I finally got promoted to a server. I did such a good job that the general manager begged me not to go when I quit a year later!)