The Ho Ho Holy Spirit Is Not For Me

I grew up in a religious household, so when my young mind decided I was an atheist, I thought it important to tell my parents as soon as possible.

Mom: “I don’t understand. Why?”

Me: “I just don’t see it. It doesn’t seem plausible to me when looking at the science.”

Mom: “But you were so cute a few years ago when you made that project about how you didn’t believe in the Big Bang theory for school.”

Me: “That was also the year that I was excited that Santa got my letter and sent a reply. Not everything you told me in my childhood is true, Mom.”

Mom: “Well… what do I tell everyone at church when they see you’re not coming?”

Me: “Tell them I moved to the North Pole to work for Santa.”