The Helicopter’s Going Down And So Is The Tone

(It’s Christmas 2013, and my dad has just gotten two of those tiny remote-controlled helicopters like you’d see at the mall. He, my brother-in-law, and my VERY pregnant wife are in the living room playing with them, but I’m having trouble keeping mine in the air.)

Me: “Man, once it goes down, it’s hard to get it back up!”

Wife: *snorts, stifling laughter*

Dad: “Wait until you’re older.”

(At this, we all lost it. Unfortunately for my wife, having another human inside her put a lot of pressure on some specific organs, and her hysterical laughter caused her to pee her pants—on Christmas. She spent the rest of the day wearing a pair of bright red sweatpants my mom dug out of storage.)