The Heights Of A-mew-sment

(My mother is significantly shorter than the rest of us. Because of this she likes to yell for one of us to get her something that’s high up. We also have lots of animals in the house.)

Mom: “Tall person!”

Me: “Which one?”

Mom: “Squat!” *this was the cat’s name*

Me: “…Squat’s been dead for four years, mom.”

Mom: “[Sister], then!”

Me: “She moved out two years ago.”

Mom: “…Get your butt in here and help me already.”

(She has since then called me by the dead cat’s name many times.)