The Height Of Delusion

(I’m hanging out with my cousin, who’s lamenting his singleness.)

Cousin: “I miss [ex-girlfriend]. Do you think she’d take me back?”

Me: “Uh… I doubt it. I think she’s a pretty different person now. Also, the last time I talked to her, she had a boyfriend.”

Cousin: “Yeah, I heard she hooked up with some old university buddy of hers. But I’m better than him.”

Me: “I’m not trying to put you down here, but what makes you say that?”

Cousin: “I’m taller.”