The Guy’s A Real Animal. Period.

I have a really stupid coworker who is so slow doing the most basic jobs in the warehouse, like putting stickers on products, that he gets sent to my department to “help” me in the hope that my fast-speed and no-talk attitude at work will get him to do something in his workday.

I have him packing orders I’ve already picked and he keeps trying to talk to me. I am female; he is male. The tone in my voice by this point is very blunt and not happy, but for some reason, he keeps trying to be friends.

Coworker: “I love volunteering for [Non-Profit Animal Organisation].”

Me: “Cool.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but I just saw that there’s a rescuer up the road for a little owl.”

Me: “Okay.”

Coworker: “I was thinking I would go help but I don’t have a car today and caught the train in.”

I make a vague “hmm” noise.

Coworker: “Someone is already taking care of it but I was thinking I would go and take over. I could take it home on the train and drop it at the vet on my way home.”

Me: “That’s stupid. You’re at work now and that person probably has a car and won’t traumatise the poor thing on a packed train for forty minutes. Just. Do. Your. Job.”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah. Just a moral dilemma, you know?”

Me: “Nup.”

He stays quiet for about two whole minutes and then suddenly gives me this gem.

Coworker: “You know, I don’t get grossed out like other guys about girl stuff. Like, I don’t get grossed out about periods, so if you want to talk about your period with me, you can.”

I just walked upstairs to management and asked if he could go anywhere else. My manager responded with a smile, trying not to laugh at my expression, and said, “He’s annoying you that much, huh?”