The Grumpiest Place On Earth

, , , , , , | Right | October 14, 2020

I sell tickets for an Orlando theme park complex. A woman with two teenage-looking kids comes to my window. I barely get a chance to start my opening pleasantries when she interrupts.

Tourist: *Already grouchy* “I want three tickets for one park.”

Me: “I can absolutely do that. Was there anything specific you guys were hoping to see today?”

Tourist: *Angrier* “Just this park.”

Me: “Okay, so just to make sure we’re on the same page, [Second Park] has [rides]. We’re okay with skipping all of that today and staying just at [First Park], is that right?”

Tourist: “YES! We’re going to [Second Park] tomorrow!”

Me: “Oh, do you have your tickets for tomorrow already?”

The tourist is not quite yelling but very angry at this point.

Tourist: “No, we’ll get them tomorrow!”

Me: “Actually, it would be cheaper to—”

Tourist: “NO! Just shut up and do what I tell you!”

Me: “Oookay, then…”

I don’t even try to hide the sarcastically sweet “perky customer service voice” as I did exactly that. Lady, I hope you’re reading this. The price of three two-day tickets is over $150 less than the price of six one-day tickets. And on top of that, we had a “buy two days, get three days free” promotion that I was going to offer… but aren’t you glad I just shut up and did what you told me to?

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