The Greatest Grump In England

, , , | Right | August 27, 2019

(I work in a hotel. I’m working overtime, I’m sorting out all the loose ends, and I’m tired. A guest comes in to check in, starting a long queue of other guests. Oh, yes, it’s a busy night.)

Me: “Well, sir, here’s your room. Just go down the right hallway and it’ll be on the top floor.”

Guest: *grumble-grumble*

(Oh, yes, this will be a good one, I think. Sure enough, he comes back five minutes later.)

Guest: “That room has one bed in it; I will not be subject to sleeping in a bed with another man!”

(It is at this point I realize he HAS another guest with him, silently standing in the background. His room is a single room.)

Me: “Well, sir, I do have rooms left with a truckle bed. If you’ll allow me to go make one up for you, I’ll sort it.”

Guest: “Well, you’d better. I have to get to Leeds in the morning. Good night guarantee, my a**!” *grumble-grumble-grumble miserable*

(I make the bed up, which takes about forty-five minutes because guests keep hitting the buzzer, and we HAVE to respond to that the second we hear it go off. A regular guest comes to check in.)

Regular: *to the grumpy guest* “Have you been sorted, mate?”

Guest: “I hope so, after waiting a bloody hour for this girl to get things sorted.”

(I just smile, say I’ve got it sorted, and give him the key to the room. I finish checking the regular in and I sit down to move rooms around. Lo and behold, the guest comes back yelling at me.)

Guest: “I’m not a bloody child! That bed is too small! Good night’s rest, indeed! This isn’t fair, you know! I’m over fifty years old; I don’t need to sleep in a bed that small! You need to call your manager and get this sorted right now! And what’s more? I won’t be waiting in the lobby for you. I’m going to go wait in the room and sit on that small bed while you sort it. It’s your job to sort it.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’ll let you know what happens.”

(He stormed off, cursing and blaming me for all his problems and whatnot. After sorting things out with the manager, I finally managed to get him a room with a sofa bed the size of a twin bed — which is bigger — and I moved him. He accepted this and I went back to my desk to move him around again. Then, I discovered, to my amazement, that this wasn’t our fault at all. The company the grumpy guest works for had booked the room as a single after all. And if you book a room where it says, “Double/triple/quad as a single,” and we don’t have anything in the double/triple/quad type, we will put you in a single room because there is supposed to be ONE person in the room. So, I called my manager to let her know, and she said she’d be sorting that company out. I love my job.)

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