The Great Scam Of ’09

| Working | February 4, 2015

Telemarketer: “Hello, this the national protection service, calling about the parts and warranty on a car registered to this address, and we’ve noted it’s about to expire”

(Instantly recognizing this as the standard lie to make it sound official and that I’ve done business with them in the past, I decide to play along.)

Me: “What’s about to expire?”

Telemarketer: “It’s listed here in our records as an ’09”

Me: “An ’09 what?”

Telemarketer: “Sir, due to security purposes, I can’t tell you.”

Me: “Well, due to security purposes, I can’t help you.”

Telemarketer: *beat of stunned silence* “Sir, it’s an ’09.”

Me: “Ma’am, an ’09 what?”

Telemarketer: “Due to security purposes, I can’t tell you”

Me: “Well, due to security purposes, I can’t help you.”

(Unsure of what to do, tries the above pattern again, this repeats two more times, comes back around again for a fifth time.)

Telemarketer: “Sir, It’s an ’09.”

Me: “An ’09 what? an ’09 boat? And ’09 motorcycle? An ’09 car? What?”

Telemarketer: *sigh* “It’s an ’09 car, sir”

Me: “Which one? Which ’09?”

Telemarketer: “Sir, due to security purposes, I can’t tell you.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t help you.”

(Another moment of silence goes by.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can keep doing this little merry-go-round conversation all day. I’ve got nothing scheduled.”

Telemarketer: *click*

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