The Great British Fall-Off

(Mum and I are both watching a programme with the comedian Sue Perkins as she follows the Mekong river in China. She’s been driven up one of the mountains and gotten out part way to talk about the river. She also talks about how the altitude is affecting her and she’s lightheaded. She’s doing this whilst stood on the edge of the road that seems to have a sheer drop with no barrier. Mum and I are both acrophobic — we’re scared of heights to an irrational level.)

Me: *getting anxious* “She is really starting to bother me. She’s getting lightheaded and is stood… there.”

Mum: “On the edge.”

Me: “Nothing to break her fall.”

Mum: “Well, we wouldn’t be there. We’d be against the mountain going, ‘Sue! Suuuue! Come away from the edge!'”

Me: *pretending to be more panicked than I am* “‘Sue, it’s not safe!'”

Mum: *also pretending panic* “’Suuuue!’”

(It then pans out to show that she genuinely is on the edge of the cliff.)

Mum & Me: *no longer pretending* “SUE!”

(Thankfully, it cuts to a different take.)