The Grapes Of A Manager’s Wrath

(After a workout at the gym, I stop by the wine shop where I work and am surprised to see the two newest hires working alone, but figure they are about ready to solo anyway.)

New Hire #1: “Hi! Let me know if I can help you find anything today!”

New Hire #2:  “Yeaaaaah… I’m gonna need to see some ID, hon.”

Me: “Wow, I’m flattered! Good job, by the way!”

New Hire #2: “…This isn’t you.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been working hard to lose weight since that picture was taken. I’m glad it shows!”

New Hire #2: “Don’t be cute, ma’am. I’m confiscating this, and I WILL call the police if you come in here again.”

Me: “Look, its definitely my ID, and I WILL be leaving here with it today.  Furthermore, that’s going to be a difficult threat to follow up on…”

(As I say this, New Hire #1 is looking between my name on the ID and the list of managers on the wall, looking horrorstruck. She elbows New Hire #2, sharply. I continue speaking.)

Me:  “…since I’m your manager. Checking for proper ID is an important part of the job, but never, NEVER speak so rudely to a customer, you got that?”

(Predictably, New Hire #2 lasted about a week.)