The Grapes Of A Customer’s Wrath, Part 2

(Before leaving town, I decide to stop by a grocery store to buy non-alcoholic champagne for my then-pregnant sister; it’s difficult to find in Alabama stores for some reason. I grab a bottle and head to checkout.)

Cashier: “I’ll need to see an ID for this.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I meant to grab the non-alcoholic champagne.”

Cashier: “No, this is the right bottle. I still need to see an ID to buy it.”

Me: “But it’s not alcohol. I’m buying this for my pregnant sister.”

Cashier: “I need an ID.”

(A customer behind me speaks up.)

Customer #1: “If there’s no alcohol, then just let the boy buy it.”

(I decide to hand over my ID anyway.)

Me: “Okay. Here’s my ID.”

Cashier: “I’m not sure how old you have to be to buy this.”

(The cashier calls over an assistant manager.)

Assistant Manager: “What’s wrong?”

Cashier: “This young man is trying to buy non-alcoholic champagne. How old does he have to be?”

Assistant Manager: “I think it’s 18. I’m not sure…”

(The assistant manager calls their manager on the phone. Meanwhile, another customer in line speaks up.)

Customer #2: “Jesus. I got drinks easier than this when I was a teen. Just let me buy it!”

Me: *to the assistant manager* “You looked at my ID; I’m 19. This is for my pregnant sister who wants a mimosa. If this is essentially grape juice, why do I need to be 18?”

Assistant Manager: “You have to be 18 to buy non-alcoholic beverages.”

Me: “I’m 19! And this is just grape juice.”

Cashier: “Can I see your ID again, please?”

Customer #2: “When was the last time you asked for the ID of a teenager buying a Coke?”

Me: “Just take it. And here’s my money.”

Assistant Manager: “Here’s your champagne, sir.”

Customer #1: “It’s f***ing grape juice!”