The Government Burns Money; Why Can’t I?

(I work in an adult store that sells tobacco products and adult novelties. A female customer under thirty years of age approaches after browsing through the shop for several minutes.)

Customer: “So, do you guys accept EBT or, like, the food credit stuff?”

Me: *completely and utterly baffled and astounded that someone would even ask this* “No.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I just got it, and I’m not really sure what it can be used for. Thanks.” *walks out the door*

Me: *waits until the door fully closes, then puts my head in my hands and strongly considers putting my head through the counter* “Wow. Just wow…”