The Good, The Bad, And The Smugly

| Paris, France | Working | May 9, 2013

(After an accident, my best friend was critically wounded on the left side of his face, losing his eye and scarring him. While his scars are slowly healing, he wears an eyepatch and bandages on his face both to help healing and because the scars are VERY ugly. This happens when we grab a bite at a popular chain of restaurants.)

Me: “Hello, we would like a tab—”

Waiter: “No.”

Me: “What?”

Waiter: “You didn’t read the sign? ‘No face-covering clothing or headgear.’ I won’t serve you as long as your boyfriend keeps his mask.”

My Friend: “First, I ain’t his boyfriend. Second, that’s not a mask, but REAL bandages.”

Waiter: “No exceptions. You drop your Halloween getup or you walk out.”

My Friend: “Okay, dude, get me a manager before it gets ugly.”

(My friends has to insist for a while, but the waiter finally caves in and brings a manager with him. The manager looks bored as hell while the waiter is smiling smugly.)

Manager: “Sir, my employee just warned me about your behavior. I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”

My Friend: “For what? Because I don’t want to show my wounds to everybody?”

Manager: “Unless you have a medical document that proves you have a disability, you can’t keep those.”

My Friend: “I’m not disabled. I’m just WOUNDED!”

Manager: “No proof, no exceptions. Now leave.”

Me: “Let’s just—”

My Friend: *suddenly grinning* “Well, if you REALLY want proof…”

(My friend turns around for a while, then swiftly turns towards them, giving everybody in sight a VERY detailed view of his burns, cuts and, worse of it, his eye wound. The manager turns pale, then falls flat on her back while the waiter literally runs away screaming. In the end, the restaurant owner came down, witnessed my friend’s wounds… and threatened to call the police because we were causing a disturbance. We left, but not before getting their names and writing quite a letter to corporate, including several documents from my friend’s doctors about his state. We received a letter of apologies, several coupons and the promise that those people were “dealt with”.)

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