The Friends That Slay Together, Stay Together

| Friendly | February 1, 2014

(One of my closest male friends recently started dating a girl almost ten years younger than him. At first I liked her, but then she started bugging me because she’s still very much a loud, annoying teenager. Regardless, the usual she-hurts-you-she-dies rule applied. He was aware of the age gap at such times and was quite paranoid when she made excuses to not see him. We have a habit of texting each other late at night when something is up and know that replies can take some time.)

Friend: *at about 1 am* “She dumped me.”

Me: *at 8 am* “Gonna need an address, and a few quid extra if you want a fancy burial. You okay?”

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