The Free-Range Children Are Out Back
(We are the charity for a small but state-of-the-art kids hospital, and run tours for potential donors, maximum six people per tour.)
Me: *on the phone* “Hello, [Charity]; how can I help?
Caller: “I want to organize a visit.”
Me: “Okay, great. What day?”
Caller: “Next Wednesday. Now, tell me, is there somewhere they can stop and eat?”
Me: “There’s a cafe nearby.”
Caller: “Good. Am I right that there is an area where the patients can be petted?”
Me: “Uh…”
Caller: “Never mind. Where can I park the coach?”
Me: “…coach?”
Caller: “Yes, we want a visit for fifty elderly people. Your representative said it was possible.”
Me: “I’m so sorry, we can only take six people at a time.”
Caller: “Well, what are the rest of them going to do?!”
Me: “Okay, can I ask who told you it was all right to bring more than six people?”
Caller: “Yes! She definitely said it was all right! We had an initial talk by a lady who brought along her lovely Labrador…”
Me: “…”
Caller: *realizing* “This isn’t the Dogs’ Trust Hospital that I’ve called, is it?”
