The Free-Range Children Are Out Back

(We are the charity for a small but state-of-the-art kids hospital, and run tours for potential donors, maximum six people per tour.)

Me: *on the phone* “Hello, [Charity]; how can I help?

Caller: “I want to organize a visit.”

Me: “Okay, great. What day?”

Caller: “Next Wednesday. Now, tell me, is there somewhere they can stop and eat?”

Me: “There’s a cafe nearby.”

Caller: “Good. Am I right that there is an area where the patients can be petted?”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “Never mind. Where can I park the coach?”

Me: “…coach?”

Caller: “Yes, we want a visit for fifty elderly people. Your representative said it was possible.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, we can only take six people at a time.”

Caller: “Well, what are the rest of them going to do?!”

Me: “Okay, can I ask who told you it was all right to bring more than six people?”

Caller: “Yes! She definitely said it was all right! We had an initial talk by a lady who brought along her lovely Labrador…”

Me: “…”

Caller: *realizing* “This isn’t the Dogs’ Trust Hospital that I’ve called, is it?”