The Following Stupidity Takes Place In Real Time

(A very intoxicated guest walks in at night.)

Me: “Good evening. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I lost the key to my room.”

Me: “Do you have your photo ID?”

Guest: “No, I lost it. My room number is 4321.”

(Our highest room number is 558.)

Me: “What is the name on the room?”

Guest: “Jack. Jack Bauer.”

Me: “We don’t have a Mr. Bauer staying with us tonight.”

Guest: “That’s ridiculous! Jack Bauer fights terrorism everywhere! All the time!”

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