The Flashlight Is On But There’s No One Home

Dad: “Do you have a flashlight?”

I start to hand him my phone.

Dad: “Right. Phones have flashlights.”

He pulls his phone out and wanders off. A few days later:

Dad: “Do you have a flashlight? I can’t find mine.”

Me: “I use my phone.”

Dad: “Oh! Yes, right.”

He pulls his phone out and wanders off again. The next day:

Dad: “I need a flashlight.”

Wordlessly, I hold my phone up. He rolls his eyes, pulls his out, and walks away. The next day:

Dad: “I can’t tell if the sump pump is working and I don’t have a flashlight in the house, do you—”

I just looked at him. He shrieked in annoyance, pulled his phone out, and stalked off downstairs.