The Female Form Does Not Conform

(I am at a hotel pool with some friends. A heavily pregnant woman is lounging in a chair near the pool, reading a book. She is wearing a bikini; you can see she has stretch marks on her stomach and legs, and her ankles and feet are swollen. A girl of about twenty walks by, then turns around and goes back, her face wrinkled in disgust.)

Girl: “Um, excuse me?”

Pregnant Woman: “Yes?”

Girl: “Why are you wearing a bikini? It’s kind of gross.”

Pregnant Woman: “I’m wearing a bikini because it’s summer and I want to. If you have a problem with my natural female form, feel free to f*** off.”