The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 10

(I’m 10 years old. Someone in my class has made a threatening note to another child. The principal is taking this VERY seriously, including taking all of our journals to compare writing. I’m telling my mom about this after school.)

Me: “So what I don’t understand…”

(Mom braces herself for questions about why people would want to hurt each other, or similar difficult conversations.)

Me: “…is what sort of moron would write that letter in pink gel pen? EVERYONE knows you use a Bic! We even get red ones standard in our supplies, so it can still be properly threatening.”

Mom: “Okay, who is this “everyone,” and what else have they been telling you?”