The Failed Sequel To “Snakes On A Plane”

I’ve been having very vivid dreams lately. One night, I bolt upright in bed, waking up my partner. I scramble for my phone.

Partner: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I have to check my online order history.”

Partner: “Wait, why?”

Me: “I don’t want to say.”

After scrolling through my orders, I’m relieved. I put my phone away and we go back to sleep. The next day, my partner asks me about it.

Partner: “Why did you need to check your order history at 1:00 am?”

Me: *Embarrassed* “I had a dream that I’d ordered a bunch of snakes for a prank. But I didn’t end up going through with the prank, so I put the box of snakes in the garage and forgot about it for two weeks.”

Partner: “What?”

Me: “And I woke up worried that I’d accidentally killed like twenty snakes.”

Partner: “And the first thing you did after waking up was check your phone? Not the garage?”

Me: “Of course not! It could’ve been full of angry snakes!”

This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

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