The Express Yourself Lane

(I’m loading my shopping at my local supermarket which doesn’t have an express or self service. As a result, it is common to have someone with one or two items to ask if they can go ahead of you when you have a full trolley of items. Usually I don’t mind, but some customers think they automatically have an entitlement to go ahead of you just because they have a couple of items.)

Woman: “I’m just going to go ahead of you. I only have four items, okay?”

Me: “Well, no, because I only have three items.”

Woman: *confused* “But I only have four items.”

Me: “I know, and I have less, so there’s no reason for you to go ahead of me. You need to wait.”

Woman: “But I’m in a rush.”

Me: “So am I. Still not letting you ahead of me.”

Woman: *thinking for a minute* “Well… I’m a pensioner. I’m old and tired. I need to go first.”

Me: *turning to face her fully* “And I’m eight months pregnant, so I’m also tired. I also just finished a full work day and I’m bursting to go to the toilet so, for the last time, you are not going ahead of me.”