The Excuse Finally Backfired

I handle scheduling for my company. We have (technically she’s still employed with us) a person who has called off at the last minute with “emergencies” so many times that the boss and I have talked about creating a Klinger file (M*A*S*H reference) on her; keeping track of all the misfortune that has come her way, how many family members have died, etc.

Sometimes it’s just, “I got some bad news”. Usually at least once a week she called off on the day she was scheduled.

This past week we finally removed her from the schedule completely. She used her last excuse:

Coworker: “I can’t find my gun.”

Manager: “Uh… that’s not really acceptable for an armed security post.”

Coworker: “Well, I can’t find it.”

Manager: “That… isn’t just a fireable offence, but authorities need to get involved. A lost gun is kinda serious.”

Coworker: “Fired? Authorities? What the f***?!”

Manager: “Uh, yeah! I’m honestly surprised you’re being so blasé about it.”

Coworker: *Not sounding convincing at all.* “Oh wait, I found it! I’m coming in!”

My manager allowed her to come in (pretty darn late) just to inform her that she was being fired and to hand over her firearm and other equipment. She had the gall to say we couldn’t fire her “just like that” and that she should be given “a second chance”.

When told this was her “ninth chance,” we asked her to remember, on the spot, all the relatives of hers who had died in the last year that prompted so many call-outs. None of them matched the record we kept on that special file we made for her, so she was officially let go right there and then.