The End Justifies The Crazy Means

(I worked as a debt collector for a car rental agency.)

Debtor: *on the phone* “You sent me a court order about a debt. I can’t pay it. But, I can offer you some paintings I made.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I cannot accept them. You have to pay cash or make a wire transfer.”

Debtor: “They’re good paintings; I have written confirmation by the Arts Department of the University of [City] that they’re good.”

Me: “If they’re that good, I recommend that you sell a few of the paintings. Then you’ll have money to pay your debt.”

Debtor: “I can’t do that! To sell a painting I’d have to ruin a marriage!”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand…”

Debtor: “Well, for a man to buy a painting off of me, I’d have to sleep with him. His wife would find out, and she’d divorce him.”

Me: “Ma’am… I think that you should check your relationship with reality. I am extending your deadline by one week; please pay cash or transfer.”

(End of call.)

Me: *to my coworker* “I can’t believe she just said that. I can’t believe I just said that.”