The Elevator Pitch
I started my own software company when I was twenty years old. I’m now twenty-six.
When the company started, it was just me, working out of my spare bedroom. The company has grown in leaps and bounds, and now employs over sixty people. Given that we don’t do a lot of face-to-face interaction with the public, the office dress code is very lax.
This day in particular, I’m wearing jeans, a band t-shirt, and a leather jacket. I have interviews lined up for this morning for a personal assistant to help with the actual work side of things, as my receptionist is a wonderful, organized woman but not a software engineer.
I step onto the elevator running a little late, and there are three people in there dressed to the nines. This tips me off that they’re probably my interview candidates, since my employees NEVER wear suits or ties. I smile at them and step on, noticing the button for my floor is already pressed.
There are two men and one woman; one of the men smiles and asks for my floor, offering to push the button for me. I wave him off and tell the young woman I like her shoes. The second man speaks up.
Man #2: “Ugh, doesn’t ANYONE here know how to dress?!”
The other two look horrified. I realise they must have actually researched the company and recognised me from a photo somewhere. With blue hair and distinctive arm tattoos, I’m kind of hard to miss.
Me: “It’s a very relaxed dress code here.”
Man #2: “That’s no excuse. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”
The elevator opens up again on a different floor, and the marketing director steps on. I know he has a very important meeting later this morning, so for once he is actually dressed in a suit and tie. Before anyone can say anything, the candidate launches into another rant.
Man #2: “See? THAT’S how you dress for a company like this! What floor would you like, sir?”
My marketing director smirks and also selects my floor. The candidate immediately turns on the charm. He seems to think the guy in the suit is someone important and sucks up like nobody’s business. He references that he’s here to see “the boss” and lock this job down, acting confident as h*** the whole time.
He uses my last name several times but refers to me as “he”, which shows me he didn’t even Google my name for a PERSONAL ASSISTANT interview.
My first name isn’t remotely unisex, so he must only know my surname. The other two candidates are stifling their giggles behind him while I watch, thoroughly bemused. The marketing director is honestly stirring him up at this point, telling him random facts about me, but carefully leaving gender out of it.
We finally get to my floor, and the elevator doors open. The marketing director and the candidates all get out, me a step behind them. My receptionist is waiting by the doors for the interview candidates to lead them to my office.
Receptionist: “Hello! Welcome to [Company]! I see you’ve already met [Marketing Director who has an androgynous name], and our CEO!”
The candidate doesn’t click. He instead falls over himself thinking the marketing director is the CEO. The other two candidates quietly shake my hand and introduce themselves, still giggling at the last candidate embarrassing himself five feet away. My receptionist looks confused.
Receptionist: “Okay, if you would like to follow me and Mrs. [My Last Name, also in the name of the company], we’ll head through to the office and get set up!”
I’ve never seen someone blanch so quickly. The mouthy candidate spun to look at me standing with the other candidates. The other male candidate apparently had some of his research for the interview stuffed into a folder and had pulled out a recent press interview printout with my name and photo clearly on it and held it up.
The other candidate sputtered for about ten seconds, then slunk back onto the elevator and left. We never saw him again. I hired the young male candidate less than two hours later, and the female candidate, while not a good fit for my department, ended up becoming a wonderful asset to our HR department.
If you’re interviewing for a PA position, RESEARCH YOUR BOSS, PEOPLE!
