The Dumb Is Greater Than The Parts

| East Greenwich, RI, USA | Working | March 31, 2013

(My colleagues and I are in a diner. One of their specials on the menu is the “Big Man Breakfast”, which has waffles, sausage, two eggs, and toast. The waitress is taking our orders.)

Me: “I’ve got a question. Can I have the Big Man Breakfast, but with bacon instead of sausage?”

Waitress: “I’m sorry; we don’t allow substitutions.”

Me: “Ah, alright. Well, I really want bacon instead of sausage, so I’ll just pay extra if that’s alright.”

Waitress: *sighs* “No, we don’t do substitutions.”

Me: “I understand that. I’m no longer asking for the Big Man Breakfast, but just the items in the Big Man Breakfast for whatever those individual items cost, with bacon instead of sausage.”

Waitress: “I just told you: we don’t do any substitutions.”

Me: “Right, it’s not the Big Man Breakfast I’m ordering, but just the individual items from the meal, but with bacon.

Waitress: “Yes, and as I said, we can’t do that. No substitutions.”

Me: *gives up* “Okay. Can I have waffles, two eggs, toast, and bacon, please?”

Waitress: “Sure, how would you like your eggs?”

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