The Dogs And The Bees

(I’m at a coffee shop with my best friend, and I’m watching my five-year-old niece for the day. My friend brings her dog with her. My niece and I are sitting at one of the outside tables, while my friend gets her drink, inside.)

Niece: “Auntie, [friend’s dog] is a boy, right?”

Me: “Yeah, sweetie.”

Niece: “I know what makes him a boy!”

(She’s loud enough for other tables to hear her, and I’m not the only one now paying attention.)

Me: *nervously* “Oh, yeah?”

Niece: “It’s the same thing that makes [my dog] a boy!”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Niece: “They have boy breath!”

(I have never been more grateful for my niece’s innocence! That is not a conversation I want to have with a five-year-old; her mother gets that pleasure.)