The Dog Is Trained Better Than The Employee

, , , , , , | Working | August 15, 2018

(My dog has a vet appointment for vaccinations and some annual blood work. As a reward — or an apology — we go through a fast food drive-thru for some ice cream. She is an 80-pound mutt and, given her size, she is well-trained in social interactions.)

Drive-Thru: *automated recording* “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. Did you know we serve breakfast all day? What can I get for you?”

Me: “Hi! Could I have a double bacon cheeseburger, plain, and a plain ice cream for my dog?”

Drive-Thru: *not automated* “Hold on! I’m not ready.”

Me: “Oh, sorry.”

Drive-Thru: “Okay, what did you want?”

Me: *repeats order*

Drive-Thru: “Okay, first window. Thank you.”

(I drive to the first window.)

Window: “Hi, you got the— Puppy! Oh, she’s so cute! Can I pet her?”

Me: “Uh, she’s actually not allowed to come to the driver’s side. Driving hazard.”

Window: “I just want to scratch her head!” *reaching in my car, in front of my face*

Me: “Sorry. She’s not going to come over.”

Window: *huffs* “Well, that’s not very nice. Your total is [total].”

Me: “Okay. Here’s my card.”

Window: “She’s so cute, though. Can’t you make an exception?”

Me: “No. I don’t want her coming over here because it’s dangerous if I’m driving.”

Window: “But you’re not driving.”

Me: “No? Is this not the drive-thru?

Window: “Fine!”

(The woman reached out to hand back my card and “accidentally” dropped it between my car and the building; I had to move forward and walk back to get it. When I looked at my receipt, there was a “survey” I could take at the bottom. You can guess how that review went!)

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